How to talk to people reddit

Starting up a casual conversation can make boring errands more enjoyable than standing quietly while you wait to finish your task. Post a moment about something you really like or want to talk about. Conversation doesn't have to be deep, serious, thought-provoking, or profound when talking to a stranger. People like talking about themselves. Anything you say to get their attention will work. You’ll find you have more to relate to than you think. Reply More replies More replies. Instead of enjoying it so much to hear yourself talking, try to pay more attention to the other person and to what they have to say. If the other person is interested then keep going, but there is always a point where the other person won't have any response. Talking bad about people is gross, im always turned off and immediately don't respect someone who does. Talk about real shit. Be expressive with your hands and your face and your voice reacting to their stories. Tip 5 4:26 Give Less, Expect More. Most of them are very easy to put in practise in social settings covering meetings, parties, phone conversations etc. Not meaningful conversations can be considered you wanting to waste other people's energy and can be considered rude. Still feel lonely. And usually there’re a lot of different trajectories you can take from there. You can start by typing, move onto audio recordings, and, when you're comfortable you can have a blind conversation. This could mean attending social events, joining a club or organization, or even just striking up Then share stories about yourself. This is the most important thing to be a person easy to talk to. As long as you don't blame yourself for that and look at the result (i. Most of the things people say are open to interpretation. Next step would be to evaluate their response. Driving back home the thought crossed my mind that not one soul on the planet really gets me. ‘Why’ and ‘How’ questions are good conversation extenders so use them when you feel an awkward pause coming. But two solid minutes of staring at yourself and thinking, channeling power strength can help you harness some power and confidence. Paying attention to others, diverts attention on your own anxieties. " Ask them questions and let them talk. landlord unlocks door. You’ll gain a lot of respect from people by doing that. You can do positive affirmations but you don't have to. 1. I don't know how to talk to people. I feel I don't. I don't know what to talk about with anyone, friends, family, co-workers and even my husband, I will literally just sit/stand there in silence while my First tip: Do things. go-pros everywhere. You can and will do this! Get your shit together and it will stop. In my experience people like to be listened to. In my experience, it'll make the other person feel like you care so they'll continue with the conversation and eventually you'll begin to feel more comfortable. I be trying to make male friends but I feel so insecure and don’t know how to handle it without trying to have freak out moments. Genuinely connect with those people in real life e. Talk to Random People for Fun. Make the conversation about them. For context, I was a very quiet kid growing up, there wasnt much interaction between me and my family members, so I would mostly only talk to friends in school. You need to go and do the cliché thing: "go find yourself". 'How to talk to anyone' by Leil Lowndes in which she has written about 92 tricks that one can do to improve social skills considerably. Give some compliments. • 4 yr. See a chat and not a performance. And if they still didn't change, you can try calling instead. Tip 4 2:46 Be An Active Listener. Share those things about yourself when asked. true. Meet them where they are. I texted with a distant friend for a bit. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t give a shit how to talk to people 101. 31. That's really good advice actually to keep the conversation going. People love being asked about their person lives, especially when someone is genuinely taking an interest in them. I am still struggling with this problem, pretty much exactly as you described it, but I do have two things that are helping me get better. I zone out so much. Cause that way you don't blame anyone, but just chalk it up to what happened in the situation. Mindfulness and "being in the moment" are key to avoiding those anxious, distracting thoughts that keep you from being focused on the conversation. In school, you can talk about the subject but start off by asking a question about something you learned in the class to break the ice. Project your voice to ensue you're heard. Remember that the anxiety is caused by waiting. I can't pay you but I'll mention your name to tens of people who have no use for a developer but they'll hear A better space for socializing would definitely be sports leagues and clubs. Share and ask. it reeks. Yes, we have " no talking in the elevators" signs. You are about to talk to someone not perform in front of the whole class. Pick a character from a television show or a movie who would deliver the message you are about to say flawlessly, and literally pretend that you are that person delivering a scene. Tldr; I need to work on my communication skills and need suggestions to learn to effortlessly talk to strangers. Bantered with team members at work. Heck, I don’t even wear headphones ffs. I'm 19 (M) and whenever i talk to people above 25 i dont know what to talk about. I never make people laugh, the conversations never last, and I suck at coming up with something to say. Practice being a good listener- think of it as a difference between just “ hearing ” what the other person is saying, and “ listening ” to them and what they’re saying. Give a person room to talk, realize and grow. I can't think of things to talk about with my friends or things to do (because I immediately think about how I can't afford to do practically anything). Maintain eye contact. It probably will feel like drawing blood from a stone to you, but I think it will be worth it. If you don't like to look into people's eyes like me, simply look between the eyebrows. And in the end just feel like I'm the awkward tag along. TLDR: I don't know how to talk to people and I don't know how to learn how. I downloaded Bumble about a month ago and have gotten a decent number of matches and have been out on several dates. DimAllord. This involves being with new people, doing new things. The regulars at my gym all talk to each other and are friendly with each other. cuz78910. Additionally here are a few pointers: Ask questions about the other person. And that's a lot easier to brush off than you blaming yourself for example. Fiehrhdrkuexjjrdj. Tip 1 0:12 Don't Talk To Anyone. we didn't talk well) then it's okay. Most people are not good at conversation anymore because they think it is about them. I don’t think I have the skills to actually develop and nurture relationships, especially not with new people in a country I don’t even know. Also, I would recommend hopping around a few places if it's possible, and then find one to stay at that is more "your vibe". People who are good at talking to random people are people who are good at small talk. Here's some of the ways: At a shopping center, ask someone where the Starbucks is. They might never change, but at least you will We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Then it would be helpful if you could practice walking up to people and talk to them, so you can see what approach works for you and what doesn't work. In the first case it can be media, music, pets basically something that can get the other person to be excited which you can then use to ask them questions and provide your own input on. Psychologists say you should say a name 3 times whil looking at the person to remember the name. Tandem and HelloTalk because you don't have to talk. Who seems like a person I would talk to? What interesting stuff could we talk about (your hobbies, their hobbies, interesting themes, etc. rn i’m feeling nervous and sick thinking about trying to talk or speaking to someone in class. I generally have anxiety around people I don’t know and would rather not talk to others sometimes. ask questions, people love to talk about themselves. If they are serious or mature, try not to come in screaming and making jokes. I talked to and surrounded myself with people all day. " The important part is to show that you are listening. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. Even went to a workout class afterwards. See where it goes from there. •. Talking to someone at work explaining myself well then suddenly it's like my awareness slightly expands to my body, mind goes blank, talking stops, and adrenaline starts to spike, all this happens in a matter of 2-3 seconds and I have to quickly sit down and say excuse me I feel lightheaded bc it's so hard to explain and so damn scary. try to understand which talk will better for which person 3. Find someone you respect who you feel does express their feelings well and say something like, 'I really notice you express your feelings well. Wins, losses, dreams, aspirations, how you're actually feeling/doing, how they're actually feeling/doing. Set a long-term goal. step 1: be in vrchat step 2: be in an approachable avatar step 3: go into a public world (preferably one without toxic people step 4: run up to someone and just talk to them step 4. I have a similar problem lol I find it hard to talk to others sometimes but the more you do it its easier. Spend time with people more social than yourself and attempt to emulate their behavior. glencoco12. Obviously such a thing doesn't exist. If still no, I'd take it as a sign they're not interested. stop talking to people altogether, and rarely venture outside. When he does talk to me it's kind of like I just "get" the message. Perhaps ask for opinions and really wait for an answer. The trick is to find commonground. What I usually ask is: 1. Look at the people you talk to, acknowledge what they say by nodding or other gestures. 7. how do i talk to the person beside me in class i wanna say hi or something but once i’m there it Let's use this question as an example on how to talk to people about your feelings. You can start by reaching out to new people in a way that feels comfortable to you, such as by joining communication platforms or attending social events related to your interests. r/talkbetter is a sub that is dedicated exactly for that. Just listen to what they say, and when they say something that reminds you of something else, you can talk about that. Im a pretty socially anxious person, I don’t like going out much and I find it hard to even get on a call with people and talk. Just leave it there, if they had an intelligent response, they would give one. If they don’t, you can always initiate the conversation. Be interested in what they have to say and who they are as a person. As you practice it more, it eventually becomes natural. By the way, write me a program to track all my sales, inventory, expenditures, etc. Alternatively, you can read moments and comment on the ones that you're interested in and then do the same thing. Their college 2. Tip 7 7:55 Just DO IT. Where they’re from. ago. Combining 1 and 3, haha no, does not work. I think that if he put some emotions, people would wait and listen before they talk again. Add a Comment. I’m a mid-20s man pretty new to OLD. e "Your lunch looks amazing! We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I. I personally use texting just to meet in person with people including my boyfriend, try it :) And make sure she isn’t just letting you carry the conversation, you deserve reciprocation. At McDonald's, ask the person in front of you what the normal order is and how it tastes since you're a newbie to McD's. I just have problems when I see them the next day and don't want to be asking them something we talked about only yesterday. This is how I started, go to really small meet ups with a few people and just listen and talk every now and then. This way, if you're ever in a awkward sinch, just bring up the news and ask for their opinion on the topic. And it can definitely help you to feel more safe cause it would be you controlling your reality, not your feelings and fears. The more you develop yourself as a person the more successful your career and interactions with other people (including your ability to build bonds, as well as just being attractive and interesting in general) will be. Simple questions like "where are you from" and "why did you choose this major" should be a good start. Kids learn to grow up to be functioning, competent members of society by interacting with people, and learning how to relate. It may help make you feel better about yourself and your day for very little risk. • 3 yr. Nobody will notice a difference. I find it helpful to focus on the other person and ask them questions even if they seem somewhat closed off. Two women I’m talking to have mentioned that they’re only talking to me at the moment, which felt strange considering that I’m conversing with 4-6 people at any given time and have two I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason I can’t talk to people is because my brain is so preoccupied with focusing on not looking like an idiot or saying something stupid that there’s nothing left to actually listen to what the person is saying and automatically have something come to mind. More on small talk in this cheat sheet. It doesn't have to be inherently social things. When people stop talking, it because they don't want to say more, not that they don't have more to say. This really only applies to VRChat but try not to make your avatar too obnoxious as well although they can make great ice breakers. even in childhood i was depressed and anxious and i always struggled with coming up with something to say, but since being homeschooled for nearly 7 years with no social opportunities it's gotten so much worse. e. 5. For instance, at the Super Bowl party, you could find someone who you were rooting for in that room and talk about how bad they were playing (let’s be honest, they both were bad). It’s tricky being social, but remember even though it looks like others get it naturally or more naturally they too feel awkward often enough. that's it. You can either judge them by Kathy Newman style "so basically you are saying", or give them the benefit of the doubt. gmunkhtur. Ask questions. obeserve them first 2. I assume you are curious or feel you don't express yourself well or don't get the response you want. The kind of amnesia you see in movies and books, where the person loses an entire lifetime of memories and becomes essentially a new individual (yet still remembers every bit of their black belt martial arts training, obscure facts about european intelligence agencies, or whatever else is convenient for the plot), is very rare in the real world. You may be anxious as hell yourself, but fake it til you make it. [deleted] Start small- say hello & how are you to people and be prepared for a response. No, slurring and mumbling all over the place. Add small interjections - nods, uh huh, cool, etc. TL;DR: Imagination, creativity, knowledge reign supreme. dead go-pro meme guy on the floor. Speak clearly. Tip 3 1:42 Have A Role Model. I'm not an introvert, just shy and boring, and I want people to talk to, but no one ever seems to want to talk to me. Just let post nut-clarity set in for you whilst you stare at your hands wondering what you’ve just nutted too. From there, start slow. Be that person that is interested in other people, not the person who wants to share things about themselves. 3. I think with quiet or shy people you need to let more silence happen in the conversation - give us more of an opening to say something. My friends are the ones that made the first step so yeah, just wanted to rant for a bit and a call for help. My whole life I've had pretty crippling social anxiety. Talk to people who look bored (browsing their phone, not paying attention in class, dozing off, etc) and from there it should be easy. Cook together, go for a walk, go to an event or concert. Use what they have said to springboard more conversation- be interested and interesting and keep the conversation about the other person. That's kind of the beauty of it. Go ahead and smile, say hi, and crack a joke. Heisenberg_211. At this point, I really don't know how to make friends as the person who takes the first step in making it. But there are a lot more beyond that. (the best communicators listen to who they are talking to, then when it's there turn they say something clever) Just in general my advice is to relax and enjoy when you have the chance to talk. It's also important to practice regularly. i started working last week and the There is many communities for finding friends, r/needafriend for example or discord servers about things you interested in. Relaxing completely and just letting my jaw do all the work. Elaborate more on what you have in common. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I know that if I speak to people, I'll come across as strange. If a so called "Adult" has a problem with it then, they need not be around children at all. Try not to overthink it you can start small and just say hi to someone. You will eventually begin to believe it, just as you did convincing yourself that everyone is easily offended. Here's a hypothetical: it was my first day of school today 3 people talked to me like being friends with me. You may have a lot to talk about, and may want to discuss things you like, but rarely do people want to focus on things they dont like. I've forgotten how to talk to people. I observe other people then reenact how they act. I do a wide leg and hands on the hips. 2. Reply reply. It’s not something that you can change overnight, so don’t stress about it too much at first. 17f i can't remember a time where i haven't been this way. People don’t remember how you initiate the conversation but rather how you hold it afterwards. If they aren't willing to talk much, maybe they're willing to listen. Compliment the person and then tie a question at the end. Their major 3. Etc. Tell stories. 6. I've always struggled with small talk, find it hard to make connections, and had difficulty expressing myself vocally, but it seems to be getting worse. Try to match their behavior. _somebody_else_. You get better at taking by talking. Go out and talk to strangers. The End . The chances are they'll talk about themselves quite a lot so you won't have to say much. ) Follow up and don’t interrupt. Don't think, just do, ask the person at the bus stop whether your bus has arrived, stop a stranger and ask them for directions, anything. And on the off chance I do manage to say something Try new things, get out of your comfort zone. • 2 yr. With my job i am forced to communicate every day, it never seems to get easier. Basically this positive body language and words will encourage people to speak more freely. The easiest way to talk to a new person is to simply listen to them. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. (Like a New Years resolution :) ) Journal and assess your feelings and attitudes that contribute to your social anxiety. can't even go on reddit, too famous for go-pro incident [time passes] neighbors complain about smell from your apartment. You may not find your new bestie from the first try, but it's a good starting point. :) I don't know how to relax. i feel confident now to talk to people but once i get there i won’t . Just start talking to the bartender sometimes, and almost all the time, someone will chime in, or walk up and order and then chime in, and you can get another conversation going that way. Usually people say hi on the first day to the person next to them. "Ease and comfort does tend to come with time, though. MetaFilter user "mollymayhem" once gave this advice: "Don't just get coffee or drinks—that puts all the pressure on you guys to entertain each other. Why can’t I start a chat? How do group chats work? Can I opt-out of chat? How does Reddit suggest people I might like to chat with? How do I manage my chat notifications? How can I delete a chat message? How do I prevent people from abusing me in chat? How do I prevent people from spamming me in chat? Watch the news, be ontop of most major news stories. Mention barbecue and you'll be stuck listening to me for the next 35 hours or so. bobbywade3232. Do something that entertains you guys together. I cant relate to them on anything and find it hard to get to know them and befriend them. Share. If you think about it, the probability of meeting people who you genuinely like and enjoy socializing with within the "everyday" world is quite unlikely. There is also good book on this topic was written about 100 years ago and it's called "How to win Friends & Influence People". The key is helping people feel comfortable. The first thing is meditation. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say. Find areas where you agree and expand on those topics. Try asking more questions and trying to learn more about them. Tell them about your rock bottom. I have an hard time taking to other males because I grew up around females and the few males in my life shut me out. However, just being attentive, asking questions and honest answers is what keeps a conversation interesting. i. Feel free to mention one of them. You might even find that more enjoyable than talking about yourself once you've gotten used to it. Message those people using that topic as a conversation starter. If they are having a good time, don't come in stiff lipped. Try to interpret everything as positive. i don't even know how to talk to people. Wait for people to post on it. Laugh at their jokes. Tell people online and irl personal stuff I really shouldn't, things that make me sound utterly mental. Seek for an actually interesting conversation and not a speaking practice. We're an inclusive, disability-oriented peer support group for people with ADHD with an emphasis on science-backed information. Tip 2 0:54 Figure Out Your Goals. When I am seeking an answer from God, I usually try to keep it to a simple yes or no question so that the answer can be more clear to me, but sometimes the answers are more like an idea. If you don’t believe that, find them someone else to talk to. Everything you say to suicidal people needs to be grounded in the belief that they are doing the best they can to help themselves. Face-the-Faceless • 10 mo. ADMIN MOD. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I really want to fix it. Having multiple session with the same persons whose sole job is to make you feel comfortable with the language can really help build confidence. Inhale relaxation and exhale tension. "Your boots are awesome!" as opposed to "I like your boots. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. The greatest gift you can give a suicidal person is the experience of being truly heard and understood. Then work up from there and maybe look at them more next time. Does anyone know what i mean and anyone know how to make it easier? Archived post. I'd love to hear/know more. Relate man, who cares what any "Adult" thinks. I have never heard God talk to me in an audible voice. the end. Discuss and share experiences about chat rooms to connect with random people for casual conversations on Reddit. Even if it doesn't come across that way, people typically appreciate you putting in the effort. Exaggerating the hell out of my lip movements. People have called me a 'freak' and 'strange' and 'weird' irl and online except in really niche communities/discord servers where it's a subniche of a subniche and we're all Honest is a great value to help you to establish rules on how to express, what to express, when to express, what to expect or not, etc. " Step 1: get drunk. If silence is more beautiful than what you have to say, do not say anything 😊. Ignore step 4, you don’t need to cry in a corner. g. And even then, I'd probably screw it up anyway since I wouldn't know what to say and it would end up being awkward anyway. I love talking about cooking in general and barbecue specifically. Listen and pay attention to what people say. It takes a lot of practice to change mind set, it helps to tell yourself everyday that it's not that big of a deal, and most people aren't as sensitive as you'd think. You’d think this would make me speak clear but when it comes to conversation, no, it doesn’t help at all. I am not saying it easy, but people are easier to talk to when you find a common ground and the truth is everyone wants friends and too feel accepted. mathblog. Try to do alot of listening. i wanted to say more but i was scared. When people see you are interested in what they care about, they will grow appreciation for you. If they are friends of friends, find out a little about them so you thats the issue! genuinely do not know who i am. Share your stories, struggles, and non-medication strategies. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but I feel fake because, similarly to what someone else said, I feel the need to force myself to talk to others because I don’t want to come off as rude. and slowly you will feel comfortable around new people. Make others feel “at home”. It's still very popular. Anytime I interact with people I always say the most…. At the grocery store, ask the person thumping watermelons what their strategy is for picking the right melon. Supressm. I've forgotten how to enjoy things. Remember their answers to ask about the next time you see them. Repeat their name several times and attach it to w hat eve meaning you can come up with to make it stick. 4. Focus on making others comfortable. I go 3-4 days a week though so thought that would be considered regular enough to at least have people talk to me. Pretend that you are someone else. u/GulchDale. Keep asking more questions related to whatever they are talking about. Then just listen without trying to cram in some shit just for the sake of saying it, until you Here are a few tips that may help you to build more consistent confidence: Practice, practice, practice: The more you put yourself in situations that require you to interact with others, the more comfortable and confident you will become. be yourself and stand up confident 4. Refer back to earlier subjects. I believe that in his case its because he tends to talk way too long (like building up his speech unnecessarily longly) or maybe it's because of his monotonous and lifeless way of speaking. They reset your anxiety and increase the time before anxiety settles in. ) cathygirly44. Small talk can be awkward, but small talk is necessary to get into better, more meaningful conversations. Award. Find something interesting to remark on that applies to them and structure it in a "You" format. Tip 6 6:13 Be Prepared To Listen At Length. Ask open ended questions that force someone to talk. Reply. The main advice I can give you is (1) try to find something they are passionate about or (2) find common ground. (I’ve already experienced all 3 steps) Reply reply. (This might include steering the conversation to the Venn overlap between the topic they're talking about and your interest. Nearly a million and a half users say they 'feel at home' and 'finally found a place where people understand them'. If they want to they'd keep it flowing. If they say they are from Minnesota, that might make you think of the time you visited a few years ago and you’ll likely remember a few specific memories. It's shallow, superficial conversation. Accept that you might not be a social person, socializing isn’t your strong suit, set realistic expectations for yourself. Then that way she will feel enlightened and probably tell you all about it and that will get the ball rolling. Maybe buy a workbook. 5: hope they aren’t rude step 5: continue talking to said person/people and eventually friend them. The key is to find a way of communicating that you truly enjoy and find pleasurable. fo yp hd dc hc lx bt tr nc tu